When your breath feels hollow, and your lungs feel like a heavy cream fog, and you know your mind has all the right peaks, but you haven’t climbed out of the valley yet.
why isn’t “axplain” a word on the internet? like, it could mean when you’re trying to explain something, but you butcher the definition badly or explain it wrong. like you butchered the explanation with an ax.
things i think when i’ve been online too long.
- 5 days ago
- 6 days ago
- 6 days ago
- 1 month ago
I DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER - page 74
I’m not sure whether cycling up and down so severely is a common symptom of depression or whether that’s just how mine works. The lows become so much worse because they are accompanied by so much guilt at the pain and inconvenience I’m causing to the people around me. In that space, all I can think about is how worthless and pathetic I am, and now no one should be forced to tolerate my presence, but that kind of thinking can push people even further away because it can sound like there’s nothing they can do or that I don’t want their support.
While the ultimate burden of working out of that space is mine, the support of the people I love still makes so much difference. I can’t stress enough how life changing it is to be loved (and be told so) when you’re at your absolute worst and feel your most disgusting. It’s easy to love people when they’re doing brilliantly, but so much braver to keep loving them when they’re at their worst. My girlfriend and I now affectionately (and often tearfully) refer to this as loving each other on our mountains and in our valleys.